Sometimes when the going gets rough and I don't know what to do, I like to jump in the backseat with my pal The Constant Observer. He is always there, sitting quietly in the back. Think I first noticed him during a bad car crash I was in. I was in panic-mode, as you might expect, but I still registered the fact that there was... this consciousness... taking it all in. I think that was the first time old C.O. ever really communicated with me, not so much the meaning, "You are crashing the car." so much as the feeling: "But don't worry about it."
So anyway, I think there are certain activities (besides car crashes) that are conducive to C.O. coming forward, and practicing music is one of them I can write about in this blog. There's something about letting the surface mind work its kinks out in the music, and then slowly relax back away from trying to accomplish anything. Then he's kind of there, like he was all along, but he was letting the temporary mind do its thing, because he's got all the time in the world, and he's not worried about a thing. If you're trying to make something happen, he's just going to let you do your thing. But there probably won't be much communication or teamwork or whatever.
I mean, it's really like C.O. is the real one, and I'm just the character he dreamed up. When the life is up, the dream is over. And I think I'm cool with that. I'm very cool with that indeed.
