Drunkerings

VII

It's time. Old Captain, Death, lift anchor, sink!
The land rots; we shall sail into the night;
if now the sky and sea are black as ink,
our hearts, as you must know, are filled with light.

From Baudelaire's "Le Voyage", translated by Robert Lowell

Hieronymous Bosch with a view

Come be my student, my acolyte.

I will teach you the pathway between moments,
Show you all the spaces in between.
I speak the language of the birds;
They sing a map of time.
It shows the way out of here.
I flew away with them.
And I have seen.

Come on get up!
You gotta get higher.
Come on and get up.
The higher you are,
The closer it becomes.
What isn't darkness lights the way.

You weren't meant to be this far down.
It only feels bad,
Cause you don't belong.
The pressure pushing down--
It isn't real
The lack of air--
It isn't real.
It isn't real.

Come on get up!
You gotta get higher.
Come on and get up.
The higher you are,
The closer it becomes.
What isn't darkness lights the way.

What Plotinus said

Withdraw into yourself and look. If you do not as yet see beauty within you, do as does the sculptor of a statue that is to be made beautified: he cuts away here, he smooths it there, he makes this line lighter, this other one purer, until he disengages beautiful lineaments in the marble. Do you this too. Cut away all that is excessive, straighten all that is crooked, bring light to all that is overcast, labor to make all one radiance of beauty. Never cease "working at the statue" until there shines out upon you from it the divine sheen of virtue until you see perfect "goodness firmly established in stainless shrine." Have you become like this? Do you see yourself, abiding within yourself in pure solitude? Does nothing now remain to shatter that interior unity, nor anything external cling to your authentic self? Are you entirely that sole true light which is not contained by space, not confined to any circumscribed form, not diffused as something without term, but ever unmeasurable as something greater than all measure and something more than all quantity? Do you see yourself in this state? Then you have become vision itself. Be of good heart,. Remaining here you have ascended aloft. You need a guide no longer. Strain and see.

Dragons

Spirit is the source of energy, which flows throughout the body. There are some who listen with their inner hearing to this. They cultivate this flow, removing obstructions and occlusions, always attending that which is vital within. They are not moved by the external, though they respond appropriately to what arises Though they live among us, I think they are more like dragons that have shed the dead skin of ego.

Rearrangements

Rearrange the letters in "Fred Meyers", you get: "F Mr Red Eyes".

Spent a lot of time this morning thinking about the paths of rain drops.
What if there was always a rain cloud, but only over your house?

Really True

This is the latest entry. You are reading it.

Weather Report in September

Seventy-three degrees and broken clouds.
Night comes softly down.

My angels in the garden go up the darkening stair!

NOT suitable for kids. But very funny.

Remove Negative Karma While You Drive

Turn your car into a spiritual device. Prayer wheels spread spiritual blessings and well being.

Mantra: Om Mani Padme Hum

left handed dimension

my tennis elbow seems to be turning into tennis body, at least on my right side. i'm wearing so many straps and accoutrements on my right hand, wrist and arm that i look like a cross between darth vader and a bondage fetishist. did some drawings tonight with my left hand and they looked really cool, like someone else drew them. also, i felt a lot more confident drawing with my left hand.

3rd dimensional

Live your life, OK? And it will be OK.

Live your life in happiness, even though those around you lead lives which are unhealthy, and wish to spread their illness to you. Be Happiness itself. - Buddha

Blurple

Profundity #11,346

You always start from where you're at.

blue green

everything through a glass, darkly.

Handy Watch Repair Tip

If you're ever trying to change your watch battery, and you're having trouble getting the back plate to snap back properly, you might think that a light rap with a sledge hammer would be just the thing. Trust me; it's not.

It is, so let it be.

It is.
So let it be.

If you can just ride in your head... If you can just ride around in your head while you go anywhere

observing quietly from somewhere anytime

while you go when you go quiet or maybe you are talking

from somewhere in the back of your mind...while you go about your daily routines, observing quietly

If you can merge your awareness with its own being.

If you can accept emptiness when it comes. If you can accept awareness.
If you can be there when being empties. If you can put it up, so you can lay it down. can you trust?

If you will...
Awareness can accept what you thought was you. Then what was empty becomes full.

Then a loss and a win don't seem so different.
Then miracles happen so frequently you lose track. You win and you lose track.

You stop keeping score.

When the hurt passes through. passes through. passes through. through.

What you once thought of as you. Which once thought it was you.

Which passes through into its own pure awareness of itself being aware of its being.

When you lose track of loss. If you lose you. And win.

Then let it be.
Then let it be.
Then, bliss!

Oak Grove Temporal Distortion

Everyone agrees we seem to be experiencing some sort of time-contraction event. The weekend actually felt more like 1.33 days long. What this means is anyone's guess. If space is really curved, as Einstein proposed, then isn't it possible our sensory-cognitive apparatus could be dimly aware of "curved time". I'd write more on this subject, but my work day seems to be rapidly drawing to a close, and I still have loads to do.

The Headache Sutra

World-Honored One, what must I do to attain liberation?

Subhuti, you have not yet grasped the bottle of spiritual Ibuprofen; much less have you twisted off its child-proof cap. Still further are you from shaking out the Immortal Pill into your Buddha palm. And further yet you are from washing it all down with the Water of Life.

Master, if I may not gain instruction from one such as You, then I must give myself up as lost!

Subhuti, you begin to understand. For who is there that seeks liberation? And where shall it be sought?

Those who believe in a path mistake the effect for the cause. They see the calming of the mind, the quelling of desire, the dispelling of Karma as a path to a state, rather than the symptoms or behaviors caused by a state or consciousness field.

Subhuti, do you know the expression, "Seek first the Kingdom of God"?

World-Honored One, this is a saying of the Christ-followers. It is from a passage that states that the things of the world will be provided to believers, but that they must seek the most important thing first, rather than pursuing the things of the world.

Subhuti, you speak rightly. Do you see the problem with seeking the fruits of attainment, rather than attending to the root? The self that you believe in seeks mastery, enlightenment, peace and other states of being, but in so doing, do you not see the flame of desire burning just as brightly?

What the Christians refer to as the Kingdom of God, we might do well to refer to as Original Mind. If one can regard the self and the phenomena of this world as a sort of dream, one can find shelter in the Kingdom of God, that quiet place that has always remained at the back of your so-called mind. We call this "Abiding in the Golden Abode of the Real."

I begin to see, World-Honored One; one does not need to study the wisdom of the ancients. It is necessary only to "stand where they stood"! The field of consciousness supplies all the rest.

Subhuti, I believed we are finished.

Cookie rocks the xylophone

The Half-Hearted Teachings, Volume 1

It's entirely possible that what you're tripping out about is completely wrong. I'd write more, but I've got to find the wart medicine.

A sickness that heals you?

I know it's going to sound weird, but I feel different today... more unified, if that makes any sense. It's as if I had to have this weird sickness break me down so I could get put together the right way again. Like I wasn't quite right before I fell ill.

And death shall have no dominion.

Sometimes when the going gets rough and I don't know what to do, I like to jump in the backseat with my pal The Constant Observer. He is always there, sitting quietly in the back. Think I first noticed him during a bad car crash I was in. I was in panic-mode, as you might expect, but I still registered the fact that there was... this consciousness... taking it all in. I think that was the first time old C.O. ever really communicated with me, not so much the meaning, "You are crashing the car." so much as the feeling: "But don't worry about it."

So anyway, I think there are certain activities (besides car crashes) that are conducive to C.O. coming forward, and practicing music is one of them I can write about in this blog. There's something about letting the surface mind work its kinks out in the music, and then slowly relax back away from trying to accomplish anything. Then he's kind of there, like he was all along, but he was letting the temporary mind do its thing, because he's got all the time in the world, and he's not worried about a thing. If you're trying to make something happen, he's just going to let you do your thing. But there probably won't be much communication or teamwork or whatever.

I mean, it's really like C.O. is the real one, and I'm just the character he dreamed up. When the life is up, the dream is over. And I think I'm cool with that. I'm very cool with that indeed.

Non-specific happiness

Is perhaps the best. Feeling like the only stuff that's real is what I learned in Sunday school at age 4. All knowledge I've acquired since then is nothing more than the internal logic of a dream that's not particularly good.

Remembrances

Evil Woodpecker

physical reality is what
got left over from a prior existence

Short Story

Once upon a time, there lived a man who was convinced his life was nothing more than an average-length sentence that existed in a set of narratives.

Black Cloud

After signing the stupid tax forms, I was feeling grumpy. Actually, I was feeling grumpy before this, both in non-specific ways as well as in ways that could be attributed to specific things: unexpected news of an old friend's death, missing out on a $6,000 order, etc. So anyway, I decided that some exercise might burn the fatigue-induced adrenaline by-products polluting my body and soul.

I went on my "dream route", so named because it passes through a neighborhood I'm pretty sure I've dreamed about before ever visiting. As I ran, the fatigue from the last run a couple days ago made its presence felt pretty quickly. My run became more of a run-jog, then a jog, then a walk, then a sort of run-walk, if such a thing is possible. All the while, a black cloud drizzling rain close by would start spraying drops on me as the wind changed direction. I discovered that if I ran for 100-200 yards and then slowed to a quick walking pace, I could just keep ahead of the leading edge of this micro-weather pattern that seemed determined to follow me.

By the time I got home, I was still dry, and thankfully in better spirits. It seemed funny that the metaphor for someone being in a mental funk, i.e., with a "black cloud" hovering over their head, was on this particular evening both a metaphor and an actuality for me. Was I giving myself a sign or something? Maybe when we get into these bad spaces, it's up to us to get up and do what we can to run out from underneath the cloud?

You might not believe this

The following is extremely tasty late-night snack!

Take some Greek flat-bread and warm it up in the micro for 30 seconds.
Spread a little mayo on it.
Put three or four layers of raw baby spinach on top of this (make sure it is washed)

Fold it up and eat it like some kind of weird semi-healthy taco.

meditation

majestic sameness. time viewed edge-wise, each moment immediately adjacent to me. the dream-logic of this worry world grows threadbare. I'm starting to see the way again. the way out is the way in is the way across is the way back home. doesn't disappear just because you're lost. we can be who we dreamed in the beginning. the journey only costs everything. but to get back original mind is worth the trip. at least it seems that way to me.

From March 2003

The Garbage Diaries

here there be monsters

What's interesting is how much things stay the same. The link goes to a post which was from six years ago. Could have easily written it six days ago.

The meaning of life.

This should explain a few things.

Housing Crisis

The Machine

The Machine from mudlevel on Vimeo.

The Apple computer I probably won't buy.

I've been on the fence for months now about whether or not to buy a new machine. Figured there would be some kind of price rollback on Apple's ridiculously over-priced machines. Sure enough, they announced it the other day $100 off. Laptops only. No mention of teh Imac I had my eye on.
Meanwhile, I'm getting used to Linux... just need to solve this little pesky problem with video. Will probably burn an image of the Gutsy Gibbon and do a fresh install on this laptop one more time. Maybe I don't even need a new machine. If that doesn't work, then I'll see how much processing power I can buy with my $1000. My bet? Can probably get an Intel quad core with dual 500g sata drives, 4 gb ram, plus Windows Vista Business, plus graphics card, dual monitor capabilities, etc.

Steve Jobs-- get serious! People are willing to pay a little more for your Apples, but this is a serious downturn, and businesses are looking for bargains. You have a great ad campaign, but you haven't closed the sale.

More prognostications

OK, I'm really having a vision of Obama taking the White House, especially after McCain's failure in the debate last night. (Nick said it was like watching Elmer Fudd trying to box with Bugs Bunny!)
Watch big pharma stocks and any ETFs with exposure to health insurance carriers sink relative to the broader market. I think it is starting to sink in that Obama will be our next president.

Roubini-damus

RGE - Bloomberg (October 14, 2008) Roubini Sees Worst Recession in 40 Years, Rally's End: "The economist said the recession will last 18 to 24 months, driving unemployment to 9 percent, and already depressed home prices will fall another 15 percent."

Roubini is a Nostradamus's Nostradamus.

Black Friday: A One Act Play

Here's the scenario... Monday is a federal holiday, so quite a few people will get the day off, or will take a vacation day to stay home with the kids. Some of these folks will also take Friday off, to stretch that three day weekend into a four day weekend.

Mr. Dude: So have you seen the stock market lately?

Mrs. Dude: I don't understand it. I thought the big bailout thing was supposed to keep everything going while they figured this thing out.

Mr. Dude: It doesn't look like that's happening; the Dow dropped down to around 8500 yesterday. GM shares lost 33% of their value in one day.

Mrs. Dude: That's insane! Wait a minute... don't WE own a lot of those stocks in our mutual funds?

Mr. Dude: Well, I suppose so... because we picked those index funds ten years ago.

Mrs. Dude: So what's happening with our retirement money.

Mr. Dude: To be honest with you, I've avoided looking... also because they say we're supposed to be in it for the long haul... yadda, yadda yadda.

Mrs. Dude: Yeah, but I've also heard that some experts say if you're as close as retirement as we are, that we might need to have less stocks, because we wont' have as much time to make up a loss.

Mr. Dude: Hmm... well, maybe we'd better look.

[typing on keyboard]

Mr. Dude: Here it is.... The Edge of the Ledge Mutual Fund...

Mrs. Dude: Oh my god, is that right?

Mr. Dude: Wait a minute...

Mrs. Dude: That's $170,000 less than it was a couple summers ago when we were looking at it! And that doesn't even count all the money we've been putting in there since then!

Mr. Dude: Well...what do you think we should do? If we sell out now, we take the loss.

Mrs. Dude: If we don't sell out now, and it goes down more, we'll have even less money! Or none!
Do you think these guys really know what they're doing? They've never seen anything like this before. What if the company that runs this fund goes out of business like these other companies? What if the money just isn't there when we need it. How the hell are we going to retire?

Mr. Dude: Well... maybe we should take some out, and then if it looks like things are getting better, we can jump back in. I don't think we should take it all out... but we should probably do something.

Mrs. Dude: [Reaching for the phone] I think we need to take out the amount that we simply can't afford to lose if the bottom totally falls out. We've got to preserve a least that much. We can't afford to lose everything. Don't you think? We've got to save at least half... and if we wait to take action, it'll be worth even less. We don't want to be the last people trying to find the exit... this could really turn into a panic!

Mr. Dude: Well... I suppose we could take out half, put it into some sort of cash account, 6 month CDs or something... then we could always go back into stocks if things start looking a little more normal. We'd only lose the 6 months of appreciation, and the stock might still go up from there... but at least we'd have a little security...

Mrs. Dude: I think we should do it, then.

Mr. Dude: We don't have a lot of options. I don't think... If we were 30 or 40 years old, we could probably just ride this thing out...

Mrs. Dude: [starting to cry] I don't want to lose everything we've worked so hard for.

Mr. Dude: Don't worry, honey... we've got a plan. It may not be what we wanted, but we have a plan, and we're working that plan. We can work through this. I'm calling them right now. We're not going to lose everything. I'm calling right now. Everything is going to be fine. I'm calling.

Sort of Nostradamus

Evil Woodpecker: "Predictions from 9/25
1. Washington Mutual will fail this Friday.
2. The Fed will lower rates by 50 basis points BEFORE their next meeting.
3. Current stock market rally is a dead cat bounce. Look for the Dow to sink to 8,700 points in the next 12 months. Expect further dead cat bounce after rate reductions, then much deeper declines as investors lose confidence in government to manage the problems in the finance industry."

Well... my first 3 predictions came true. Sort of. I should have points deducted from my final score for guessing that it would take 12 months for the Dow to get down to 8,700 points. I also guessed that when the Dow got down around this point, it would mark the beginning of the recovery. Timing the end of a bear market, kind of like catching daggers... which is why I am not a day trader.

I would guess that the Dow is now trading at pretty low trailing P/E, historically. As of September 30, it was 15.68 when the DJIA was at 10,850.

So unless these companies have disastrous earnings, that ratio should be much lower.

It kind of hints at indiscriminate selling, which is a good thing if you still have decades left to figure out retirement. It's basically your favorite stocks going on sale.

Fed leads round of global rate cuts - Stocks & economy- msnbc.com

Fed leads round of global rate cuts - Stocks & economy- msnbc.com: "The Fed reduced its key rate from 2 percent to 1.5 percent. In Europe, which also has been hard hit by the financial crisis, the Bank of England cut its rate by half a point to 4.5 percent and the European Central Bank sliced its rate by half a point to 3.75 percent."

Bernanke opens door to Fed cutting rates - Economy in Turmoil- msnbc.com

Bernanke opens door to Fed cutting rates - Economy in Turmoil- msnbc.com: "WASHINGTON - Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke warned Tuesday that the financial crisis has not only darkened the country’s current economic performance but also could prolong the pain.

The Fed chief’s more gloomy assessment appeared to open the door wider to an interest rate cut on or before Oct. 28-29, the central bank’s next meeting, to brace the wobbly economy."

And then the Dow fell 500+ pts. Probably would have had a more bracing effect if he'd talked about inflation and talked about what his buddy over in the Treasury Department was doing to help the commercial paper market. IMHO

Inter-meeting rate cut in the offing?

Credit crunch continues as lending rates climb - MarketWatch: "'The probability of further Fed easing has increased and markets are now considering a 50 basis point inter-meeting rate cut' before the rate-setting Open Market Committee meets later this month, said economists at Danske Bank. 'While we do not rule out such action, we think more specific measures directly targeting the problems will prove more efficient.'"

Subway series in Chicago?

Is it possible we could see a White Sox Cubs World Series?
If the Cubs win, would this be a sign of the Apocalypse?

Terms

Remember what people called the First World War prior to the Second World War?

They called it the Great War.

What term do people use to refer to the economic depression that started in 1929?

That's right; they call it the Great Depression.

Think about it.

U.S. bailout in chaos, feds seize WaMu | Reuters

U.S. bailout in chaos, feds seize WaMu | Reuters: "U.S. bailout in chaos, feds seize WaMu"

Just call me Nostrildamnus.

Predictions

1. Washington Mutual will fail this Friday.
2. The Fed will lower rates by 50 basis points BEFORE their next meeting.
3. Current stock market rally is a dead cat bounce. Look for the Dow to sink to 8,700 points in the next 12 months. Expect further dead cat bounce after rate reductions, then much deeper declines as investors lose confidence in government to manage the problems in the finance industry.
4. Senator McCain will continue to stumble around blindly, blurting foolish things.
5. Senator McCain will win the presidency because he is white.
6. History books will mark the election of 2000 as the beginning of the era of American Descendency. Watch emigration to Canada from America increase in 2008.
7. Doom. Doom. Doom!
8. In eighteen months, when things start to improve, we will have forgotten all of this.

Grosseteste said

Everything is light.

the medication

does it really heal? ponder this.

A new sport being born?

Reality change? Possible evidence of brane shift.

Every once in a while, I discover that I've managed to jump into an alternate reality. Cosmologists posit the existence of branes, planes of reality that contain universes. Branes can be extremely close, yet (in most cases), completely separate from our level of reality. Some believe that the universe is just one of many in a multiverse that is composed of universes embedded in these branes that could be as close to us as pages in a book. I think the people who came up with the word "brane" got it from the word "membrane".

What evidence do I have of brane shift?

I have memories of how things were in the brane I inhabited earlier. We all do. The difference, I suppose, is that most people assume that the brane (or reality) they have memories of is the same one they happen to be living in, the only difference being that their memories were formed at an earlier stage in the brane's evolution. If something is different from the way they have remembered it, they will usually adduce this to a false memory. Normally, I would to, but I am a little obsessive about certain memories. It occurs to me that it might be possible to trace fault lines between the branes by disparities we discover when comparing certain memories against reality.

For instance, in the world I am from, I have a book about the Amitabha Buddha. I also have this book in this universe. Both are about a specific Buddha. Both have green covers. Both were printed in 1974. The main difference between the two is in that my old copy, there is a section in the beginning about a specific practice, that of observing one's thoughts and fields as "ornaments of the reality field". This is a very vivid memory for me, because I thought that phrase was funny: "ornaments of the reality field". In my old reality, I re-read that section five or six times to make sure I understood the meaning.

Over the last year or so, it has become a part of my mental discipline to apply what I learned in that section of the book, because I found it quite helpful in getting through difficult periods. This morning, I felt compelled to pick up this book again and re-read the section, and despite thumbing through the book for two hours, I couldn't find the section.

Now that it's evening and I have more time, I'm going to go through the book exhaustively. There are two other possible books that I could have confused with this book, e.g. I could have conflated the passage with the visual image of the green book. I doubt that I will find that passage in another book, however, because I have purposefully had this little green book by my bedside for the past year and a half-- specifically, because it had this important passage in it. If this passage still exists in any book I own, I think it will be only found in that green book. The question is, will I find it in this brane?

Another Devvo Rap

Where is summer?

You know that feeling, the one you get in nightmares when you try to run but your feet weigh two hundred pounds each? You try to speak, but only colors or crude gibbering comes out of your mouth. I feel that way all the time.

devvo

cryptic

we are the letters and words.

This is cool.

This is cool.: "Ysub"

this is not a blog post

it's theoretical is what it is

lethargins

never feel like working much in the summer. no sir, not a bit.

Everything that's new is everything!

This is the latest post!
I wrote it!
This is my blog!
You are reading it!

What if you took a picture of yourself every day?

This is what it might look like.

What nobody tells you

What nobody tells you is that life requires everything you've got. You will exhaust every reserve. You don't get to hold anything back; it takes it all. Which makes sense, in a way , because everything you've got is on loan. Do you really own anything? You've got the use of things, the illusion of control. But this idea you had that someday you'd be "set". Ain't going to happen. Even Paris Hilton has problems. Think about that, ye mighty, and despair! Don't know why, but this thought was my first of the day - that life takes everything you've got-- not about Paris Hilton.

Free Toilet!

Great working toilet replaced by handicap model

Mario Brothers Music Medley

This is a must-see for anyone who loves piano music and/or Mario Brothers!

Break Dance

Ren & Stimpy

Funny Cat Photos - http://blog.esaba.com

Funny Cat Photos - http://blog.esaba.com

Sunday Morning

Free Linkin Park concert for all my friends

Stick Man Angst

This folk music vid is surreal.

Rowe

Found this picture at a junk shop in Milwaukie. It was painted by someone named Rowe. We call the man in the picture "Elf."

From the man who brought you saladfinger and Devvo

Crafty Women's Tips And Fiddles

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Fighting for cameras

Dead

Grateful Dead

The Grateful Dead was an American psychedelia-influenced rock band. Formed in 1965 in San Francisco from the remnants of another band, "Mother McCree's Uptown Jug Champions," the Grateful Dead were known for their unique and eclectic songwriting style—which fused elements of rock, folk music, bluegrass, blues, country, and jazz—and for live performances of long modal jams. The band's numerous fans, called Deadheads, were renowned for their dedication to the band's music; many followed the Grateful Dead from concert to concert for years, and often referred to the band simply as The Dead. more...

[via FoxyTunes / Grateful Dead]

Dinner at bill and nancy's.

Dinner at bill and nancy's.

Old oak grove window

These are just some words

These are just some words I wrote once.

Time moves forward like a

Time moves forward like a thick plastic glacier when you're sick. Except you're underneath it, looking for your missing slipper.

Being Sick

Being sick.

Being sick is like going on a little trip.

It seems like you are your ordinary reality, but because you are in a different state of consciousness, you are slightly out of phase with things.

You may stay home from work and lay in bed. From this position, you will notice different qualities of light entering your bedroom, because normally when this happens, you are in a different building. Even if you happened to be home, (say, on a Saturday) you probably wouldn't notice something like this, because you would be in your bedroom for a brief period, or for some reason or other.

When you are sick, it is best not to think too much about work-related things, as this tends to agitate the body and prolong the amount of time it takes to recuperate. At a certain point, it is OK to "give in" and just be sick for a while. Resistance takes up too much energy.

I like to look at times of illness as an opportunity to think different thoughts. When I recognize that I am getting cranky and irratible, the result of trying to "resist" the oncoming illness, I will do my best to clear my schedule and retreat into my bedroom.

Sometimes when you are sick, little thoughts that don't make as much commotion as work-related thoughts have a chance to rise to the surface.

Sometimes when you are sick, you notice the passage of time differently.

There is a secret seed of possibility locked inside all experiences, I think.

Christmas 2006

On my way to my sister-in-law's house, we went by this big graveyard. I glanced over and saw a man in a suit standing in front of a marker reading from a piece of paper.

Christmas at msol's

Hunter and the cat

Outlaw Rickshaw? Pshaw!

How can they do this? A city in India is talking about outlawing the operation of rickshaws. This is an OUTRAGE! I demand an investigation. Read full story here.

the play

Most days...

pirate food art

This is a picture I took at Salvador Molly's in Portland.

Tiffany Human

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you: need laser because your colorjet is too expensive
you: hello
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you: laser. color. preferably with fax and copy capability. yes
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you: We print a great deal of small-run marketing info, double sided. mail merged
you: color and black and white
Tiffany R.: What is the largest paper size this machine will need to handle for you? (i.e. Letter, Legal, Tabloid (11x17), etc.)
you: 8.5 X 11
Tiffany R.: Besides the standard multipurpose (manual bypass) tray, how many dedicated input trays would you like? (i.e. for different paper sizes, letterhead, stationery, etc.)
you: unless 11 x 17 is fabulously cheap
you: one tray is fine
you: we are small
you: very
Tiffany R.: In our laserjet printers they are pretty expensive for 11x17.
Tiffany R.: Would you like to save on paper costs by being able to automatically print on both sides of a page (Duplexing)?
you: yes
Tiffany R.: Will this printer be connected directly to a network or just a single computer?
you: are you really a live person?
Tiffany R.: Yes, I sure am
Tiffany R.: We are in Colorado Springs
you: really
Tiffany R.: Yes
you: I need a printer that can duplex, hook to my network and teach me guitar.
Tiffany R.: Is there anything else that is important to your printing needs that we have not covered?
you: I believe that we have covered
you: everything
Tiffany R.: Excellent!
you: yes
you: it is very good
Tiffany R.: I would recommend the Color LaserJet 2840 all in one for your printing needs.
Tiffany R.: The Color LaserJet 2800 AiO Series can produce professional, high-quality color documents, scan and/or copy documents and images, view, enhance and manage digital images, and easily incorporate digital images into business documents. Fast 33.6 kbps fax capabilities are available in the Color LaserJet 2840 AiO.
you: wow you type fast.
you: I'm sure glad you're a real person.
Tiffany R.: Its a job requirment!!
you: holy crap, you are real! you just misspelled requirement
you: I thought you were an expert system
Tiffany R.: Yes, I'm very human
you: what did you eat for lunch
Tiffany R.: I had fish!
you: what coupons or deals can I find that will enable me to buy this 2800 for the best price.
you: Chinese
Tiffany R.: Let me check the price
you: I miss Carly Fiorina
you: Maybe if I had purchased my printer earlier, she would still be at HP?
you: Then again, maybe not.
Tiffany R.: The 2840 all in one is $899!
you: Stand by while I froogle that.
Tiffany R.: When you purchase eligible products through chat, we offer a 30 day return policy. If you are not happy with the product, you may return it for a full refund, less shipping charges. This means no hassles and no restocking fees!
you: Home> Printers > All-n-one Printers HP COLOR LASERJET 2840 AIO ALL-IN-ONE PRINTER - Q3950A#ABA See Full Description Item is brand new and in Stock Usually ships in 1-2 Business Days 2 million satisfied customers since 1993 13 years of internet sales 100% customer satisfaction guarantee All items factory fresh with a full USA warranty 30 day money back guarantee HP Color LaserJet 2840 AIO All-In-One Printer - Q3950A#ABA,Q3950AABA,Q3950A,PRINTERS,printers,Printers,best price PRINTERS,low price PRINTERS,best PRINTERS,#1 PRINTERS,All-N-One Printers,ALL-N-ONE PRINTERS,all-n-one printers,All-n-one Printers,best price All-N-One Printers,low price All-N-One Printers,best All-N-One Printers,#1 All-N-One Printers,Laser Printers,LASER PRINTERS,laser printers,best price Laser Printers,low price Laser Printers,best Laser Printers,#1 Laser Printers,Hewlett Packard,HEWLETT PACKARD,hewlett packard,best price Hewlett Packard,low price Hewlett Packard,best Hewlett Packard,#1 Hewlett Packard,HP2840-Q3950A Selling Elsewhere for : $999.99 Our Price Only: $759.99 Average Customer Rating: 4 Star Review 3.71 out of 5 Read Reviews Tell a FriendTell a friend printer friendly version Now Accepting PayPal FEATURED ACCESSORIES WARRANTIES Mack Extended Warranty 3 Year $19.99
you: oops
you: sorry
you: hello
Tiffany R.: Yes, I'm still here with you.
Tiffany R.: That is a great price, we are not able to compete on pricing.
you: I need to go look at this model on your site: can you send URL?
Tiffany R.: Sure, just one momnet
Tiffany R.: http://h10010.www1.hp.com/wwpc/pscmisc/vac/us/product_pdfs/445194.pdf
Tiffany R.: I will stand by while you review
you: you are a kind human
Tiffany R.: Thanks so much!
you: What is the heaviest weight of paper this printer can use.
Tiffany R.: It can handle up to 47 lbs bond in the trays and up to 90 lbs index through the manual tray.
you: The 2840 is a sweet machine
Tiffany R.: I agree!
you: You should give me a big discount because I own 3 4215's and one laserjet 4
Tiffany R.: I would trust me.
you: plus i'm a human, just like you!
you: You would trust yourself?
Tiffany R.: Let me check with my manger.
you: Are you sure that's wise?
Tiffany R.: Just one moment!
you: okey dokey
you: no problem
you: I've got all day.
you: zzzzzzzzzzz
you: z
you: zzzzz
Tiffany R.: The best that i can do is give you 3% off so that would make the cost $872.03.
you: Hmm... You were able to discuss the intricacies of my situation with your manager-- the fact that I own 4 HP printers, PLUS the fact that I'm a human in less than 30 seconds?
you: You are a robot!
you: Hang on one sec.
Tiffany R.: My manger sits right next to me that;s why it was fast.
you: Will you throw in the 2 year extended warranty?
you: please!
you: please!
Tiffany R.: I would not be able to do that, it does come standard with a 1 year Global 1 Year On-Site
you: sweet
you: which means I get free toner all year, right?
you: just kiddintg
you: but I'll take it if you've got it.
you: I don't have a manager.
Tiffany R.: I would be happy to help you with the order.
you: I'll bet!
you: 872 for the
Tiffany R.: + tax
you: no tax in oregon
Tiffany R.: Then excellent!
Tiffany R.: It will be $872.03 total
Tiffany R.: Would you like to continue with an order.
you: i'm not sure-- probably should check out xerox so i don't get buyer's remorse
you: I need to buy today though.
Tiffany R.: The best way to get back in contact with me is to come back into chat at http://www.hp.com/sbso/assist/chat.html and ask for Tiffany R or I can be reached through email at tiffany.resner@hp.com
you: Ok thanks
you: bye
Tiffany R.: You're very welcome. After our chat, a short survey should pop up. I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on how I chatted with you today. When you are ready, please click on the "close" button to end our chat and receive the survey. Thank you for visiting HP Chat and I hope you have a wonderful day!
you: how do i print this chat so i can save this?
Tiffany R.: When you take the survey there will be a box that you can have a copy e-mailed to you.
Tiffany R.: Is there anything else that you need?
you: I think I can get 10% off if I sign up for officemax card
you: no i'm good.
Tiffany R.: have a great night!
you: you were very helpful
you: you too

OrangeFractal

Make money. Escape your cubicle. Do cool stuff. This is going to be the next thing. I can sort of semi-guarantee this with certain caveats, provisos and disclaimers. This is NOT easy money or multi-level Amawayawaying. This is niche marketing for people who know what the word means, or know how to look stuff up.

Propaganda for OrangeFractal

Here is where you can buy all sorts of cool propaganda you can actually wear.
Check it out.

Stranger

Pic 4

Old barn off se hugh

Off arista

14206 bunnell

Million Dollar Houses

In case you’ve ever wondered “What do people have to earn to be able to live in a million dollar house?”
I did some calculations based on my experience as loan officer. Lending guidelines were from First Horizon.
Here is the summary of what is required:

Summary
The approximate minimum requirements for the purchase of a house valued at $1.25 M are as follows :

1 Yearly income $320,000, verified by CPA or attorney for prior 2 years.

2 $ 142,328 in cash. includes pre-paids, down payment, 6 months verifiable reserves, etc.

3 Credit Score: 700 or higher 680 may be possible, but more out of pocket and interest expense.

4 Not much other debt!
Less than 1500 in other monthly debt payments (not including present house, which it is assumed would be paid off) You need to have less than 45% DTI, and less than this max would be preferable.

Found

Can you guess where this is?

An Indefinite Period

This was after the fund raiser for the little boy who needed a new heart.

This one isn't

This house isn't abandoned, but you sure could have fooled me!

.

Jose

The music stairway.