Evil Woodpecker

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Appears to be acrylic on some kind of masonry. It is located inside the north entrance of 6400 International Way in Milwaukie. (The big new office building you can see from 224.)
I didn't have time to adjust orientation of photo: blue section should be at lower left of frame.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Left behind.

Found this in my former housekeeper's yard when we were helping her clean up.

Much of the time we spend alone

Took this picture at the beginning of that strange morning I spent walking in his footsteps.

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HDR: Baseball Trophy 2

OK, I'm afraid of being one of those parents who psychobabbles over his children's accomplishments. It's just amazing to have a kid who likes and excels at playing team sports. I won't say much more. Anyone who has watched him play knows what I'm talking about.

OM MANI PADME HUM OM MANI PADME HUM

Shame on you people who deny the buddha nature of a chicken.

Hunter & I agree that C is the most improved player. I wish I had a picture that showed his smile better. HE didn't hit much at all until right near the end. A really nice kid... Always smiling.

M friend of H

This is the girl on Hunter's T Ball team that he really likes. She's a good player. One time when we had her over at the field for a play date with Hunter, she threw the ball to me when I wasn't looking and hit me in the side of the head.

Mr. B

MR.B has a beautiful swing, and a very tiny strike zone. When he connects, the ball goes far.

T Ball Party at Round Table

G was a bit crazy, but this freshman T baller from Oak Grove, OR had excellent form at the plate. My favorite moment with G: one time she was playing in the outfield, noy paying much attention, and I said, "Hey! Want to play baseball?" She said, "No, I want to get a Sno-Cone!"

A sign from Jahweh?

Just happened to look down after I stopped at 7-11 for some drinks. Mystical.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

What the world needs now

Why spend valuable time and resources generating tortured language for business. A clever Web 2.0 enginner has put together a brilliant "Bullshit Generator".

Click here: BS

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Now I have a headache.

Just in case you were wondering.

HMM

Image Management

I'm way better looking when I'm not there in person.

I have mastered it. Maybe.

Hopefully, something will show up from this email.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Ancient Crapper

Got this sweet picture from somebody who left it in a comment on my poop posting.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

tribute

The ancient ones
wrote of a dark knowing.
"Dim your lights and merge with the dust."
Aimlessly, they moved among the people, a blessing to the good and
evil among men. Their way was unplanned and aimless, yet they took great care in everything they didm "like those crossing an icy stream in winter." When the times were ill-favored, they removed themselves in silence, like melting snow."

To attempt is to not understand:
deep knowing requires stillness.

WTF?

Saw this at the corner of Strawberry Lane and Webster.

Evil Woodpecker | Doom Songs and Preposterous Lies

Advertise on this site

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Google SMS for Cretins

This is some cool shit. Now you can query Google's servers from your cell phone. Hours of fun for those of you who were always hoping for.

D destination yields directions
T word language translates stuff
C (c((sqrt -4)/2) *m)^2
which I believe translates to what we could do if we used our imagination.

Funny or sad. -------- Sorry,

Funny or sad.
--------
Sorry, 'public education' did not return any results. For HELP on Google SMS, please reply with 'help' or go to http://sms

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Oregon State Beavers | Thank You For Your Order

Oregon State Beavers | Thank You For Your Order
Just scored four tickets to Game 1 of the playoffs.

Bloglines | My Feeds

Friday, June 02, 2006

My 2 lesbian friends

Ok, they're not really lesbian. But I told them I would post their picture with that caption.

Brother Bill

Rootbeer float at the fabers

Friday, May 26, 2006

make money without doing anything

this is the dream: I sit around playing guitar, drinking beer, fishing, whatever and every once in a while check a private web page where I monitor the amount of revenue and profit I'm making with various companies. The indicators would be little speed dials indicating profit per hour for our operations. If profit dipped below a couple hundred thousand an hour, I might actually have to call someone, otherwise, I'd just sit around making found art sculptures, pick my nose, eat a taco. Perfect.

Then I'd make even more by showing other people how to make money without doing anything.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Coincidence

I have lots of odd Jungian synchronicities in my life. For instance, just after publishing the preceding post, I went to Fat-Pie to see if there was anything new. Wonder of wonders, Firth's latest offering was an anthropomorphic rendering of the pooping process. It was absolutely hysterical. You can see it here: http://www.fat-pie.com/menfromupthestairs.htm

I'd write more, but I think I have to crap.

Seriously. I'm not joking.

Poop

The human body is amazing and mysterious. Every so often, I am startled by the volume of excreta I produce: snot, semen, poop, pee, sweat, saliva, ear wax. It's like my body is trying to set records in all areas.
But crap seems to be its specialty. Normally, I'm as steady as a clock. I have my morning dump, during which I usually scan the headlines of The Oregonian. In the afternoon, I usually shit while pondering some statement of Lao Tzu. (I have the Tao Te Ching on my Treo for this sort of thing.) I'm a twice a day crapper.
Saturday was a four crap day. I think yesterday was three. This morning, I was amazed to see that I had produced something much akin to Mt. Hood. I actually felt lighter, like maybe I'm actually under two hundred pounds now.
Where is this stuff coming from? Obviously, I know where the two craps a day come from. I'm wondering where all the extra poo comes from. As I've gotten older, I don't need to eat as much. I don't eat tons of salads or high bulk food. If my four crap days came after a big holiday like Thanksgiving or something, it would make sense.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Gift idea for your car hauler friends.

CarHauler (tm) Wall Clock > Online Truck Stop | CafePress

No kitchen should be without this car hauler clock.

Gift idea for your car hauler friends.

CarHauler (tm) Wall Clock > Online Truck Stop | CafePress

No kitchen should be without this car hauler clock.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Evil Woodpecker

Evil Woodpecker: "Data management is everything. Think about it: the speed with which you can get data from your vendors and the speed with which you can get your information into potential customer's hands is predicated on how you store and manage your information. The way you organize your information for customers and vendors is predicated on your intelligence. If you organize your thoughts efficiently, you will probably find better reception."

This would be the Evil Woodpecker at Myspace.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

american express

Someone used my business amex to pay for something called "Hot Match Up", an online dating service. When I asked the customer service rep at Hot Match Up for the name of the person, she wouldn't give it to me.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Can't get out of bed.

Head hurts. Should I go to psu?
Ok. Iwill

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Headache: sharp electrical check against

Headache: sharp electrical check against my time energy account

Headache: sharp electrical check against

Headache: sharp electrical check against my time energy account

Monday, March 20, 2006

Auto hauler hires turnaround expert

Auto hauler hires turnaround expert: "Skillman is a managing director with Alvarez & Marsal, LLC and
specializes in developing and implementing turnaround strategies for
retailers and manufacturing, distribution and financial services
companies. He recently helped restructure General Motor’s Service Parts
Operations distribution network."

Friday, January 20, 2006

I hate getting sick.

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Sunday, January 15, 2006

Agent Saboteur

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Saturday, January 07, 2006

spiderwebs

lately, it seems I have been spending all of my time thinking about
data control and communication circuits, especially the relationship
of signal and noise.

Portrait

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Manny or No Manny?

Manny or No Manny?: "I wonder: Should Manny Ramirez stay in Boston? He is one of the finest hitters we have ever had and has never had a bad year, except for perhaps last year when he hit .292. However, I am tired of his constantly wanting to be traded to another team. It pisses me off. I think that he wants to stay, keep him, but only if he is going to commit."

This is from Your Name Goes Here

Cretinizing Baguette

This is where life began, back in Geocities, in Yahoo. Too bad I never kept a copy of the first version in Geocities. What would have been even cooler is if I could put my hands on my very first concept for etail "Stupid Shit, CHEAP!"

Basically, I was going to have it be like Ebay, except there was no Ebay back then. The only difference would be that people would sell each other stupid stuff, cheap, just for the fuck of it... not because they were really trying to make serious money. I saw it as a Dadaist gesture.

I guess I underestimated people's desire to make money. Or I overestimated people's desire to make Dadaist expressions.

Yeah, probably both of those.

Anyway, Ebay seems to be a pretty good idea, if you're into that sort of thing.

It's fun to lie. Sometimes it leads you to where you're supposed to go.

The Garbage Diaries: "The other day, I was in a bad mood. It seemed like maybe I should find
another occupation, and I browsed the Help Wanted Ads for a while, but
it just made my mood more... BADDER."

This is slide and glide.

This is good stuff. I sell it here.

The Garbage Diaries: This is where I was at three years ago.

The Garbage Diaries: "self-evacuating vacuoles of the cerebrum. the mind excretes what it
cannot use; this is how time and space continue to exist. if we needed
these things, we would have kept them in mind. physical reality is what
is left over from a prior existence. we wake up in the catlitter box of
our own device."

Monday, November 21, 2005

By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.

Wind or something more than wind
clatters ladder to the ground, sings doom songs in the trees
and branches of my nerves.

The wind or something in the wind--
It wants in or wants me out,
paws the house with curlicues and eddies,
tests each window by my bed,
whispers promises and when that fails
to open window to its kingdom of the air,
it speaks in lower tones
of places more empty and more vast.

At last I do go out, to check on the ladder
to make sure the noise is what I thought it was,
not something other than the wind
for such things as this need looking after--
though once I would have slept on unaware
of wind or ladders or what the wind brings or takes,
now I am tasked with such, for it must be done.

On the dark side of the house,
the ladder lays in grass and shadow.
A lucky thing when something is the way you thought,
and not a way beyond your thought and mind's small compass.
Even so, something moving in the grass startles;
my shadow cast in thin starlight.
How funny! though the darkness or the wind plays tricks
on balance and perception
and every step seems going downward.

The Garbage Diaries

The Garbage Diaries excerpt from 2003: Here There Be Monsters

How funny that I clicked this at random after writing that last post.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Hunter and the New Plane

Hunter and I built this plane today.

Shouldn't be doing this..

It's very late. There is barely any time left to sleep.
The woodpecker has lured me away again.
This is a random picture.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Log in, tune-out and get rich. Ebay is just the beginning.

Sometimes the things kids say acts as a catalyst for poetry. Yesterday, my six year old son asks, "Has World War Three started yet?"
What a question!
This morning, as I was reading The Oregonian, my son's question gave me a rather chilling perspective on the litany of horrors to which I insist on subscribing. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the terrorism in Jordan, the possibility of a bird flu pandemic: it all seemed to point to a strange new dark age in the world. The gap between rich and poor widens in the west as the middle class erodes, jobs are outsourced, and new opportunity for wealth... or poverty... present themselves. With the surfeit of more and more computing power for less and less cost, it seems the only sensible thing to do is log in, tune-out (i.e., all the doom and gloom speech) and get rich. When the leadership of the country reward capital-owners, it's time to get jiggy with it and do the capitalist dance. Maybe everybody should stop being so obsessed with jobs. Maybe people should focus more on making money and creating wealth. I really believe that the huge increase in server capacity, processing power and proliferation of open-source coding is going to create huge opportunities for the next generation of people who help empower the down-sized and the laid-off to concentrate on their strengths and increase the economy's flexibility, adaptibility and efficiency by an entire power!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

This is my dad in his 1933 Ford dump truck.

This would be my dad.

This is a test of the blogcast system.

Hmm. Made changes to the template, and now new posts are going below old posts.

Doesn't get more Oregon thatn this.

Snapped this picture at the Oregon/California game this Saturday in Eugene.

Three beers at half-time: $15

Rain suit from Fred Myers that someone had already worn and damaged and returned to the store as "new" : $18.99

48 degrees out with wind and rain at U of O for 3 hours... priceless.

Seriously, though, I don't think I've experienced anything remotely similar to this since I went to my last Dead show a million years ago.

Monday, October 31, 2005

toilet

amazing! I have definitive proof of jung's theory of the collective
unconscious.

the moment my ass touches the toilet seat, people suddenly decide that
they need call me.

if business is slow, I need only drop my trousers.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

dog bite

we are taking dad to er because robbie bit his hand yesterday, and
today it has gotten swollen.

Fwd: Sojourner

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: 5033100494@vzwpix.com
Date: Tue, 27 Sep 2005 23:10:09 -0400
Subject: Sojourner
To: evilwoodpecker@gmail.com

9/23/05

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Thursday, September 22, 2005

Energy Prices Climb as Rita Churns Toward Texas

Energy Prices Climb as Rita Churns Toward Texas

Whoa Nelly! Can anyone say "Fuel Surcharge?"

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Inputs and Outputs

Lately I've been thinking about life as a series of inputs and outputs.

What if state (health, finances, emotions) was nothing more than the sum of outputs?

Granted, this is a vast over-simplification. Our finances affect our emotions which affect our health, and the cause-effect arrow can point both ways simultaneously, or even in multiple directions.

Inputs: level of education, operating principles, beliefs, the watershed of all past decisions.

Outputs: Health, wealth and well-being.

Probably the biggest point of leverage in the whole system is at the level of core beliefs.
Maybe we should question where we got these beliefs.

Do they serve us in good stead?

For instance, I believe that owning a Mustang GT convertible would be a good thing. Why do I believe this?

Perhaps because my mother owned a 1969 Mustang convertible. Perhaps because I read enough favorable articles about it. Perhaps because I saw enough ads. Perhaps because it strikes me as the type of car that will eventually appreciate in value. (Depending on how many units in production for the year I buy.) Perhaps because I was driving behind one, and I liked the sound coming out of the tail pipes when the driver stepped on the gas. Perhaps because I just really like the combination of design and performance.

Plus, some things you just believe because you feel it from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. God exists. Mustangs are cool, especially the GT.

But maybe it's the ideas and beliefs we have about ourselves and our capabilities and limitations that ultimately have the most power over our realities. These are the big inputs, and what's weird is, we somehow put them into ourselves.

What if I believed that I had the power to be extremely well-organized?